A note on Ants

There appear to be several distinct varieties of ants that live in the house. The first live in the kitchen and although small and black are capable of moving large amounts of meat around. They congregate around the kitchen sink and seem to shift large things in and out of holes in the wall. The second live in the dining area and tidy up around the table, where they will patiently wait for you to finish your meal before invading the table and move whatever debris they find. Then there's the small house ants, that, as noted previously, dismember the cockroach or spookily ate out his innards before being disturbed.

In the garden are several more varieties, including large red ants. The tricky ones however, are smaller and capable of climbing up a stick you are poking them with, wriggling onto your body and then choosing a choice spot to bite. This is inevitably suicidal, and hence these ants are obviously motivated by extreme territorial beliefs, and possibly some sort of religion. They all use some sort of community belief system which leads them to operate collectively. Have you seen a queen ant? Very possibly, it is a worm like thing that lives inside a stick; which, when said stick is pushed into a mud oven to make heat for baking bread, creates even greater suicidal vigour amongst the commune ants.

Incidentally, out here if you find ants in your pants, it means you are a diabetic.